1. |
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I’ve been a bad kid.
My mom tells me I’m wrong;
don’t think she knows yet.
I’ve been a bad kid.
I want to tell you you’re wrong,
but I don’t know shit.
I need to take a shower.
I’m gonna go for a run.
Give me a half an hour.
I’ll be fucked up when I’m done--
Made me a bad kid.
Told me it was my fault,
and love is bullshit-- no.
Your love is bullshit.
Now I’m a bad kid.
My mind’s a swampland.
I’ve learned to sit with it.
Made me a bad kid.
I wish you told me.
I would have fixed it.
My mind’s a swampland--
I wish you told me--
Your love is bullshit
You are a piece of shit.
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2. |
Victim One
03:10
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I tried to make you feel happy.
I tried to make you feel sane.
But all you wanted was my body.
Now all I want to do is scream.
I tried to make myself happy.
I tried to come back from insane.
And all I wanted was my body.
Now all I ever do is scream--
Now I go by --- Victim One.
Now I go by --- Victim One.
Now I go by --- Victim One.
Now I go by --- Victim One.
I will admit that I fell in love,
if you will admit that you were fucked up.
I will admit that I wanted you gone,
if you will admit that you --
maybe you were wrong.
wrong.
wrong.
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3. |
Wind
02:27
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I can’t sleep at night,
but you don’t care.
I don’t eat half the time,
but it doesn’t cross your mind.
I’ll sit next to you,
‘cause a bad man made me scared.
I don’t know where the wind blows now,
but I know you’re not coming back.
You tell me such harsh truths,
but I don’t talk back.
You watch me slink away,
but it doesn’t cross your mind.
You’re never mean to me,
I’m just alone all of the time.
I hate your taste in things,
but you make things alright.
I don’t know ---
I don’t know ---
I don’t know where the wind blows.
I don’t know ---
I don’t know ---
I don’t know where the wind blows.
I don’t know. I don’t know.
I don’t know. I don’t know.
I don’t know. I don’t know.
I don’t know!
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4. |
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You’re so selfish.
I’m not allowed to be mad, but you are?
Do you actually love me?
Because you’re everything to me--you’re it.
And I want people to know you.
Why don’t you trust me? Do you hate me?
I think I might hate you.
I think I hate you.
I can see my tits bouncing up and down in your mind.
Your jaw hanging, hand on your cock saying,
“Look at that ass. jesus. fuck. my god, you’re so fine.”
My palm slaps my eyes.
While my mouth opens wide, and I scream to myself,
“maybe you should just die”
STOP
I’m fine now.
You can’t leave me. You can’t.
Because I can’t stop. Because I’m a coward.
I know I’m not the only one, and I know I’m a coward.
But I cannot stop. You can’t leave me. Cause I’m a coward.
Do you even love me anymore? Cause I feel like you hate me.
And I think I might hate me.
I think I hate me.
I can see your eyes when I look in the mirror.
It’s not right.
My jaw hanging, hands grip my thighs thinking,
“Look at that ass. jesus. fuck. I’m disgusting inside.”
My palm slaps my eyes.
While my mouth opens wide, and I scream to myself,
“maybe you should just die”
STOP
I’m so sorry.
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5. |
Car Talk
02:04
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Just a child -- in the backseat
Curled up, trying -- seven, eight, or nine.
Didn’t really mind when you went away.
Didn’t really mind when you went away.
Didn’t really mind how you’d talk to me.
Didn’t really mind how you went away,
when you went away.
Don’t tell your mother. Don’t tell your sisters.
I don’t wanna fucking hear it.
Don’t tell your mother. You’re my favorite.
You’re my favorite, son. Because you’re a boy.
Kinda start to mind that you went away.
Kinda start to mind that you went away.
Kinda start to mind how you talk to me.
Kinda start to mind how you went away,
when you went away.
Michelle, my belle.
I’ll tell you I love you, then I’ll put you down.
Watch you drown. Wearing my crown.
It’s just for fathers and sons.
Car talk.
It’s just for. It’s just for.
Car talk.
It’s just for. It’s just for.
Car talk.
It’s just for fathers and sons.
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6. |
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I know you saw me sitting cross-legged dressed in pearls.
I know you saw me doing twirls and twirls and twirls.
I know you love me. I know you love -- I know you love me.
I know you love me. You just don’t want me as a girl.
I know you saw me sitting cross-legged dressed in heels.
I know you want to keep me hidden from your world.
I know you love me. I know you love -- I know you love me.
I know you love me. You just don’t want me as a girl.
I know you saw me, jaw clenched, hands inside me.
I know you watched me, with my appendage on me.
I thought you loved me. I thought you -- you said you loved me.
I thought you loved me. You only want me as a girl.
I know you saw me, jaw clenched, poison inside me.
I know you watched me crying, screaming.
I thought you loved me. I thought you -- you said you loved me.
I thought you loved me. You only want me as a girl.
I’ll dance naked in my room. I’ll dance naked in front of you.
I’ll dance naked in my room. I’ll dance naked in front of you.
I’ll dance naked in my room.
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7. |
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I don’t run away -- run away -- run away
Baby, I don’t run away, I just go.
I don’t really learn -- really learn -- really learn
Baby, I just kinda, I pretend to know.
I know that you want to take me to a party,
But every time we go somewhere I’m fine.
Then I blink and forget who you are, and who I am,
and then I lose my fucking mind.
I don’t run away -- run away -- run away
Baby, I don’t run away, I’m just gone.
I don’t really learn -- really learn -- really learn
Baby, I don’t really learn, cause I’m lost.
Blame it all on me.
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8. |
Breakfast
03:23
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Your face is angry, you’re low.
You give us one way to go, and we respectfully smile
‘Cause we all go to hell if we don’t do what we’re told.
Hey, close your eyes, cross your arms, bow your head,
reverence, sit back down, shush up, because I said.
Hey, I don’t wanna go, wanna run the halls,
not do what I’m told. Sex with only girls.
Make you touch a dick, finger in my butt,
Scream and yell, FUCK,
Just to piss you off...go fuck yourself.
Your eyes are empty, you’re gone.
You’ve lost your faith and you’re torn.
Don’t wanna say that I told you so,
but I’m not known for being respectful, so…
Hey, I don’t wanna go, I’ll run down the hall,
won’t do what I’m told. Sex with only girls.
Make you touch a dick, finger in my butt,
Scream and yell, FUCK,
Just to piss you off…
Dear heavenly father, bless and sanctify these tits,
and all of the lovers who partake in them.
May they put it in our butts,
And may all of our husbands have monster cocks.
Amen.
Don’t wanna say that I told you so,
but I’m not known for being respectful, so…
Hey, I’m not gonna go, running down the hall,
fuck what I’ve been told. Sex with only girls.
You are such a dick, finger in my butt,
Only saying, FUCK,
Just to piss you off…
LIAR, LIAR, LIAR, LIAR, LIAR
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9. |
Monsoon Surf Club
02:54
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So coooool!!
I can’t shake off almost anything at all.
I can’t shake off -- anything at all.
Overthought. Underfed. Terrified. In my head.
I can’t shake off -- anything at all.
I hope you don’t go. I hope you don’t mind.
I hope you don’t know. I’m rotting inside.
I can’t shake off almost anything at all.
I can’t shake off -- anything at all.
Glutinous. Sugar-caked. More water. Make space.
I can’t shake off -- anything at all.
I hope you don’t go. I hope you don’t mind.
Does everyone know? I’m rotting inside.
I need to learn how to stop.
When I can’t speak, I don’t speak.
I need to learn how to stop.
When I eat, I gorge. When I drink, I binge.
I need to learn how to stop.
When I don’t sleep, you don’t sleep.
I need to learn how to stop.
When I hurt, I bleed. When I fight, I win.
I can’t shake off almost anything at all.
I can’t shake off -- anything at all.
Overthought. Underfed. Terrified. In my head.
I can’t shake off -- anything at all.
I hope you don’t go. I hope you don’t mind.
Everyone knows. I’m rotting inside.
Eat less. Sorry more. Disappear. Live in fear.
Eat less. Sorry more. Disappear. Live in fear.
Eat less. Sorry more. Disappear. It’s-it’s-it’s so fucking COOL!
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10. |
Anamia
02:51
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Anna. Anna. Anna go--
Anna. Anna. Anna, go home.
Mia. Mia. Mia, let me go.
Mia. Mia. Mia please, let me go.
800. 400. 200. None at all.
800. 400. 200. None at all.
Anamia. Anna, let me go.
Anamia, sometimes I wanna hide it.
Anamia, sometimes I wanna hide it.
Anamia, sometimes I wanna show you off.
Sink. Toilet. Both showers. Your backyard.
I wanna show you off.
Sink. Toilet. Both showers. Your backyard.
I’ll die young.
I hope if I sing that you’ll come back.
I hope if I sing that you’ll come back.
I hope if I sing that you’ll come back.
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11. |
Hospital
03:50
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I don’t need -- I don’t need to be.
I don’t need -- I don’t need to be.
I don’t need -- I don’t need to be.
I don’t need to be here anymore.
In the hospital, you forget your name.
Lose count of the days, can’t sleep at all.
And you misplace your brain.
I know who you are
But what does that mean in regard to me?
I know what you are
But all I can see is a stranger thing.
In the hospital, everyday is the same.
Wait it out inside, wonder how you can die.
‘Til you’re nowhere near sane.
Look into my eyes. I feel nothing this time.
I’m gone again.
Find me somewhere dark, unable to talk.
I'm gone again.
I’m gone again.
I’m gone again.
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12. |
Vixen
04:03
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I’m almost 15 and it’s been two weeks since school started. Mr. Woolsey asks me trivia questions about The Beatles every time we are around one another, so I think of any excuse to get near his desk. Because knowing the answers to his questions makes me feel...less alone? More useful? I don’t know. I’m goal oriented so if there is no goal in front of me, I’m completely lost. And I don’t feel lost around him. He calls me a vixen. I don’t know what that means.
Why did you do that? Why do I feel guilty?
How could you do that? Why did you pick me?
By the end of November, my dependence on Mr. Woolsey’s attention is beginning to fuel nearly every decision that I make. I shave every morning before school. I sleep five hours a night so I can talk to him while our families are asleep. I rack my brain for anything I can do to shock him, keep him interested. He calls me his little vixen. Now I know what that means.
Why did you do that? Why do I feel guilty?
How could you do that? Why were we ever alone, together?
The day after Christmas he sends me a text saying that he thinks we will definitely end up fucking each other. Hearing this gives me a clear understanding of how to keep the game going. Take the next step, prove him right.
Rules are made:
Rule #1: don’t tell anyone
Rule #2: don’t fall in love
Rule #3: do. not. tell. anyone.
For the next three years, I do anything he wants me to do. I feel...adopted. I fall in love. I lose my friends. I fill with guilt. I get trapped in the game. I don’t tell anyone because he says he’ll kill himself before going to prison. I don’t tell anyone because I would lose my best friend. I don’t tell anyone because then people will know. That I’m a slut. A homewrecker. A vixen.
Why did you do that? Why do I feel guilty?
Why does she hate me? I was just a baby.
I move away, gain perspective, and age. He tells me that he misses me, and reminds me that he will be forced to kill himself if anyone finds out about us. Years go by and my skin is scarred by blades, flames, and lashes. I throw up and starve when I feel worthless. I ask myself if he made me this way or if he’s doing it to someone else. I question if he actually loved me, and seek out the truth. The next time he looks at me, I can see straight through it. In a courtroom after twelve hours of questioning and revealed sex tapes. After understanding what it all really means. Now I call myself a vixen. And not his. No, I call myself a vixen because I am cunning and clever and terribly difficult to deceive.
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13. |
Anthem
01:16
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Importance of the self.
Strips from the walls.
My body’s just skin.
Wrapped around bones.
This new thing I have learned for myself,
apart from you.
Helps me purge you from my bones,
and now I’m home.
This body is my home.
My bones are strong as stone.
The anthem starts to drone, and I’m alone.
The anthem starts to drone,
and I’m alone.
The anthem starts to drone,
and I’m alone.
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Foxx Bodies Los Angeles, California
Let's talk about your childhood trauma...
Foxx Bodies is:
Bella Vanek: Vocals
Bailey Moses: Guitar
Matt Vanek: Bass
Adam Bucholz: Drums
Foxx Bodies recommends:
Dig Me Out (Remastered)
by Sleater-Kinney
This album means a lot to each of us in so many different ways, for so many different reasons...and this guitar may or may not make an appearance on our next album.
go to albumIf you like Foxx Bodies, you may also like:
Versions of Modern Performance
by Horsegirl
supported by 22 fans who also own “Vixen”
Dirtbag Transformation: "What is this?" was my first reaction. But what an amazing song. It reminds me a bit of the Pixies in how it pulls together dissonance and then resolves.
go to album
Seoul punk band Gumiho say farewell with this final EP of charging riffs and pummeling drums.
go to album
Feminist punks Petrol Girls spin clear-eyed righteous fury into churning post-hardcore on their latest LP.
go to album
